Capricious Lachrymose

Capricious Lacrymose

Part 2. Matsui Rena

This might have been a trap, and yet it wasn’t. I don’t even remember how I traveled here, but I can clearly say I did not have to pay for the trip. After all the things I have been through this looked like a dream, but it was definitely real. I felt a slight wind brushing past my face, the hot evening sun touching lightly my cheeks, and the vast blue sea, whose singing waves filled my heart with peace and tranquility…

I feel emptiness… Like I’m about to suffocate… These headaches I have, these nightmares… That voice and the feeling of those lips touching my skin… I can’t bear the memory that crept into my head and tears start flowing down my cheeks… Where to run? Where to go? Where to escape? Why did it happened to me?.. I thought we were friends, close family members… We… I… The bond I knew existed now is torn apart… This sadness that I feel… My body is shivering… I pass a lifeless street and stumble on my way to nowhere. I fall on the stone road and yelp in pain. Every tiniest detail of my past life flashes through my head again… Tears blur my vision and I try to stand up, but… I can do nothing about it, as the last time I ate was about twenty hours ago… I rub my eyes so to clear tears away. And then I notice it. No, my tired eyes notice. A white sheet of paper. I crawl to it and take it. The lamppost shines brightly, so I can read what’s written on that sheet. It’s a ticket. Huh… I toss it. Then my mind processes everything, and suddenly I feel an energy rush inside me. I grab the ticket and read it again. It’s a ticket to… Cairo?! Without a name, the economy class… It’s okay, I’m fine with anything, as long as I can get away from here… My mouth is still agape, trying to breath steady… Then time flies faster than the wind, and I find myself on a plane to Cairo. And then here I am, in the middle of the city, empty-handed, without any luggage, alone under the hot Egypt’s sun.
…My life was pretty hectic, going from one city to another, changing families, parents, foster homes. I don’t know any of the reasons why our real parents left us at the orphanage when we were still of kindergarten age. At first we were always together, being shown to people as one unit. But for some reason no one wanted to adopt me, only my sister was in a wanted list. Well, not just for some reason. I always looked weak, as my skin was always white as snow, no, more like pale as that of the dead, or that’s how they called it. My thin non-muscular body with clearly visible bones pushed people away from me. That’s why with time I understood we will be parted one day. But I never thought it will happen so soon. Being ten years old, all weak-looking, I never thought of what will happen, if my eight year old sister is to be taken by some of the parents. When it happened… The huge hole in my heart widened, I cried buckets of tears, feeling lonely and forgotten when Jurina was taken away. I actually never got over the fact that my sister and I are far away from each other, that we will have different families, that people won’t add a ‘W’ in front of our surname when calling us, because we will have different surnames… And the fact that we might meet in the future never did hit me, knowing it’s a chance of one in a zillion for this to happen. I lost my poise, my smile, and all the hopes of meeting her ever.

They told me the truth: she was taken to Tokyo. And now she had a new family, consisting of loving parents, older brother Kuu and the oldest sister Mariko. It broke my heart, hearing all that, I lost consciousness at that moment. Later I started having nightmares, and by the time they ended, I already was nicknamed ‘zombie queen’ by the other kids, or ‘creepy’ by people who came to adopt someone. I would have preferred a nickname like ‘Black’, ‘Gekikara’, ‘Morticia’, or other cool nicknames that were given to some kids in the adoption center, but I had to bear with this one. To tell the truth, I didn’t care. I knew I looked awful, weak, and my habit of bitting nails did not help. But one day a miracle happened. A very gentle, calm couple came to adopt a child, and just one glance at me made them sure they want me as their daughter. I now had a different last name, Matsui. When I processed that thought, I opened my eyes really wide. I could even swear my jaw dropped on the floor and heart skipped away to the abyss. I remembered what I was told about Jurina. One thing in particular was very distinctive. My sister’s new last name was also Matsui…

That alone made me a bit relieved and relaxed. At least we had the same last name. But I still didn’t put any hopes in ever meeting her. She was in Tokyo, I was in Nagoya. My family was really nice. New parents loved me, the same amount as their other real child. Now I had another sister, Airi. She was really nice to me, and it appeared we both love 2D world… Airi-chan was such a cutie… But I still missed Jurina a lot, nobody could replace her to me. That puppy face, cat-like smile, clingy manners and those puckered lips, always ready to kiss anyone anytime. I shed a tear every time I thought about my sister. But that aside, my life went calmly and steadily. I had people who cared about me and loved me the way I am. A real family I could lean on, the family we always wanted to have since the very first day at the orphanage. But if only I could meet Jurina, just once… I don’t think I might need anything else… That was what I wished for, and yet I knew nothing about her. How did she grow up? What does she look like now? Is she the same clingy cutie that I knew? Does she miss me? These kinds of questions crept into my head, but had I known what awaits me… I would have never ever even wished to meet her… If only I knew she’s not the same person as before…

That day was like all other days: going to university, coming home, helping Airi-chan to clean up, helping mama to cook lunch, helping papa in the garden. At around five or six o’clock a phone rang. Airi-chan went to answer it. After a few minutes she came to me and said it’s a call for me. I was really surprised someone called me to the home phone. My best friends Akane and Aina knew my mobile number, professors never needed to call me, as I was a good student.
“Moshi moshi.” was what I said.
“Rena-chan…” I heard a voice calling my name and my heart stopped. I knew instantly who it is even though the voice was now more mature. It was the voice I wanted to hear so badly many many years.
“Jurina?..” I asked in a shaky voice, still not believing that it’s her voice I hear. Tears found their way down my cheeks, and I was afraid my heartbeat might be heard not only to the person on the other side of the phone, but to the whole neighborhood.
“Oh, so you recognize my voice, neechan?” asked she and I felt some unknown feeling clutching tightly my heart.
“Yes, Jurina-chan… I… I want to meet you… I miss you…” I couldn’t hold my feelings only to myself anymore. She is my real sister, I haven’t seen her for ten years. She is now eighteen, I’m twenty…
“I miss you too, neechan…” I heard her voice and somehow I felt uneasy, yet I had no idea why, and decided it’s because of not seeing her for such a long time. “Let’s meet this Friday, we have lots of things to catch up to.” she continued. I agreed we needed to meet.
“Where?.. And how will I know it’s you?” I asked shyly.
“You will know, neechan.” I knew she smirked just then, I could tell that much just from the tone of her voice.
“In the café we used to go when we were kids…” she whispered the last words, and I knew she had uneasiness.
“Okay..” I was worried about her, but what could I do, really… I am older than her, I had to remain tough for her. Or that’s what I thought.

I was so anticipating for our meeting, that I could barely eat or sleep. My family got worried for my health. I said things are fine, and that they do not have to worry. Because they trusted me and I trusted them, they believed in my words, and the next day – it was Friday finally! – I ate normal breakfast. Parents smiled at me, Airi-chan gave a comforting pat on my shoulders. That meant: whatever happens, I had their full support. It meant a lot to me and I hugged the three of them. Then I said them the truth, that I’m finally meeting my real sister. They were happy for me, and gave me all comfort I needed. Mama helped me with my make up, a light one, using just foundation and lip balsam; Airi-chan helped to pick an outfit; and papa just gave me a firm hug. The smiles on their faces…. I will never forget them… After I prepared everything, I left the house in a very high spirits, my mood was that of the highest quality. I caught a taxi, and said the address of that café. When I stepped into the ‘Two Roses’, I found there a lot of people, like always. I scanned the area, but there was no sight of my sister. Just my heart went all ‘doki doki’, when I found myself gazing at the very handsome guy with a silky black above-shoulders-length hair, cold yet breathtaking eyes, and smooth hands, waving to…me?!… As I got closer to him realization struck me. He was sitting at my and my sister’s favorite place.

Then he stood up and another realization hit me. He was taller than me, in white shirt, black vest, and black jeans, a nice wristwatch on his left hand; but it was actually my once little sister!!!
“J…Jurina…?” I stuttered, my eyelashes fluttering thousand times faster than ever, trying to connect this handsome guy with the little girl I knew ten years ago.
“Rena-chan,” His… No, Jurina’s voice sounded somewhat seductive as she looked up and down my body. I felt naked in front of my sister, even though I was wearing a nice white knee-length dress with black belt and navy styled jacket, white sandals and black accessories. But if then I felt strange and a bit afraid, that lasted only a short time, because few seconds later my all worries disappeared somewhere in the air, as Jurina nearly jumped on me and smiled in her old good cat-like smile, her voice being cute and childish – even though it didn’t fit with her image now, and lips curving into a pout after continuing the sentence “I missed you, neechan…”
I smiled and hugged her back, feeling very light and peaceful in her arms…

The hunger and thirst that I felt made me weak in my legs and I fell onto the ground, not caring that others were looking at me with ‘she is crazy’ glares… I was scared of what happened before I found the ticket, I didn’t know what to do now, and I felt my starvation getting at me. I just then came to understand the pain I felt in my stomach. I tried to rise and walk forward, but all I could do was crouch. There were no one who helped me, I don’t think anyone wanted to help me. People were just giving me stares, looking at me with pity, or making jokes about me, or passing by like some plague. And then I felt warm hands on my waist and shoulders.
“Hey, let me help you, do not be afraid.” a gentle voice said.

…It was late in the evening when we decided to take a walk. We talked about the past ten years, I learned a lot about her, things I missed out thanks to us being apart for such a long time. She was now a first year student at Akihabara university, and said it was actually on good terms with Sakae university, the one I was attending. I also told her a lot about me and my family, and all my life until this moment. It appeared we both were depressed about the separation, yet our families were able to soothe our pain, and only because of them we were able to lead peaceful and calm lives. But we still missed each other a lot, so this reunion to us was like honey to bees. Another different thing was that I never thought I’ll meet her again, I lost all faith after not seeing her for so many years. But Jurina, on the other hand, she never lost faith and she was always searching for me. And she found me. That made me glad and smile like crazy.

Taking a turn to the right we found ourselves in a dead alley. It was dark, only one lamppost shining faintly, barely illuminating anything around it.
“Jurina-chan, I’m scared… Maybe we should go back…” I whispered. I never liked narrow dark places, I was always afraid of the darkness, so turning right from the path was not a very clever idea.
“Are you afraid of something…or someone, Rena-chan? You have me by your side, I will protect you.” Somehow her voice was unconvincing and her hands, hugging me possessively, felt cold and somewhat unpleasant. I wonder, if she forgot my fear, if she forgot how I cried when teacher punished me and left me standing two hours in the darkest corner of the main hall, while others were sleeping. Jurina was always there for me, even being very young didn’t stop her from sneaking out and bringing me food, or hugging me in a comforting way. She was never afraid of such things. So I could understand how that alley was nothing but a mere alley for her. But I was afraid, and I wanted to go back.
“Jurina-chan..?” my questioning and dumbfounded a bit scared look made an impact, and she backed away, or that’s what it looked like at first.

Then I understood my hands were tied behind my back and I was being pushed against the hard and cold concrete wall. I was so taken aback by this sudden change of events and in such a shock from the dark and burning look in her eyes, that I couldn’t even protest or push Jurina away, when her lips met mine. She took my first kiss in a forceful manner, pressing hers against mine, bitting my plump lower one until I got some copper taste in my mouth. I still couldn’t move, and it felt like I was watching this scene from afar, like the one who’s being kissed was not me. Then I came back to reality, as her hands started groping my breasts, her bent leg pushing hard between my legs against my most private place, her tongue evading my mouth and exploring it thoroughly. I squirmed and squirmed, trying to get away, to stop her actions, but soon my strength left me. Jurina was too strong, and knowing I was always this weak, I stood no chance against her. Tears started gathering at the corners of my eyes, when my REAL sister took of my clothes, leaving my jacket and dress hang behind my back on my hands, near the tightly tied rope. I felt dirty, embarrassed, afraid, and sad… To be raped by my own sister…

“Rena-chan… I missed you a lot… I love you… Don’t be afraid, I’ll pour all my love to you, I’ll make you feel good, I promise… You are very dear to me, Rena-chan…” her voice echoed in my head, sending shivers down my body, as her teeth sunk into the soft flesh of my mounds… I didn’t even notice how my bra was taken totally away by undoing the straps, then unclasping the bra itself, and taking it totally away, while saying all those words that made me cry even more. So when her teeth met my barren skin and later on my hardened cherries… I jolted and arched my back, my exposed mounds pressing hard against her face. I knew she was smirking, even though my eyes were closed, full of tears rolling down my cheeks. My mouth was making unintentional sounds and moans, as her fingers slowly traced my waist line and thighs. Then suddenly she pulled off my panties…

The memory creeps into my mind and I squirm in the hands of that woman, trying to escape her gentle hands, afraid of the touch, not being able to trust anyone. But she’s stronger than me, like Jurina is… It gives me chills, and I try to escape those hands again, screaming, shouting and crying aloud. Yet that woman just whispers sweet and calming words into my ears, her voice soothing me, making me melt in her arms. I don’t understand what she’s saying, my mind’s all blurred, but what I am sure about is that I want to sleep so badly, and her arms feel too good to run away anymore, too warm to protest.. I wonder, who this kind…person…is…..



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