Unspoken Feelings. Part 5


A/n. Hello, dear readers~ Um, I know this update is way way WAYYYYYYYYY too late, nd I have no excuses, other than procrastination… I hope you guys enjoy this. This is a late Birthday present to Bunny, kinda ^^; I am just glad I was finally able to update this and cannot wait for the last part which will be very….HEATED.

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My Inspirations (Matsui Rena-sama graduation post)

Frankly speaking, I am very calm and relaxed today. On this day where tears are streaming freely in a form of waterfalls and rivers, I am as calm as one can be. Maybe slightly sad and somewhat lost as what the future brings, but still, relaxed. I have a smile on my face, despite the commotion around me. On this day, when someone moves forward and takes a turning point in their life, the one they always dreamed of… I can only smile and feel very proud to have followed them till the very end. However, this is not the end. This is just the beginning. Beginning of Matsui Rena. Not as an idol. As an actress.

I was always asking myself…what made me fall completely under her spell from day 1? I mean, now I know her thoughts, personality, goals, charms, voice, features, but then…the girl didn’t stand out much amidst other SKE48 members and really, most of the time she was behind others or in a shadow/corner… Yet I instantly fell in love. She has very beautiful eyes, they are sharp yet have such a weird feel to them, as if you can look deep into her soul through them. Her smile is so captivating and her energy goes off the roof. Then I didn’t care she is not as good at dancing, they all were just starting their journey as part of SKE48, but…something about her clicked within me.

Matsui Rena was, is and will always be my KamiOshi. Same with Ooshima Yuuko. And people probably don’t understand two things. Either they don’t get the whole idol thing and what’s so great about them, or they wonder how one can have more than one oshimen. Well, let me break it down to you.

When I got into AKB48, there were Team A and Team K only, and I instantly fell in love with Ooshima Yuuko. Since that day I never found anyone as charming and amazing and inspiring and hard working as her – not to say that others do not possess such qualities or do not work hard – she simply was ALL in ONE. Up till this day she is No.1 in my heart, despite not being an idol anymore. You ask about the term idol? I tell you it is a road, or more like a helping step for people to achieve their goals. You want to be an actress? Fine. You become idol, work hard, get known, then graduate and become an actress. Of course, it can go many different ways, but this is like a simplest example of it. When you are an idol, you do not just sing, dance or be cute. You get to act in various movies and dramas, you do variety, comedy, learn skits and MCing, you get to do handshake events, perform in theater, various concert halls and meet a lot of fans. It’s everything and even more. Photobooks, magazine shoots, DVDs, various collaborations, you name it.

And then the term KamiOshi, or oshimen. To me, KamiOshi and Oshimen are terms a bit different. KamiOshi means someone you admire that is of god/goddess level. Oshimen is simply someone you admire, your No.1. Yuuko-sama was always my KamiOshi, same goes for Rena-sama. And it will never change. They have a lot in common, that is what I realized when following all 48G. They both always aspired to be actresses since day 1, they always worked really hard, sometimes carrying the weight-load alone, they both didn’t graduate right away when they wanted, first they taught their juniors all they could and pushed them to front, making sure to leave 48G in younger CAPABLE generation’s hands. Inspirational for sure.

And the people that are now left in 48G, I have an oshimen who is as exceptionally awesome and wonderful as if she was the child of Yuuko-sama and Rena-sama. Yokoyama Yui. That girl is not to be reckoned with. I believe Takamina made a right choice picking Yuihime as the next Soukantoku and I am more than proud to have followed Yuihime since 9gen days. While writing this, I realized one thing. I always say how Watanabe Miyuki is on par with Yokoyama Yui in my rankings, but honestly speaking… It’s not quite so. Mirukii has the charm to mesmerize you and she is an amazing dancer, her voice is to die for and her personality is cheerful and she is hardworking – damn that’s a long sentence here… However, I realized Yuihime is above her in mostly all aspects. So I know now that Yuihime is officially my No.1 in 48G now that Rena-sama has graduated.

But as I was saying, Yuuko-sama and Rena-sama (and you could include Maeda Atsuko) are the ones that are above them all. I think I could talk the same way about Hello!Project C-ute’s Suzuki Airi, she is also somewhat like a child of Yuuko-sama and Rena-sama. But honestly, these idols inspire me to move forward with my life and do my best every day, no matter what obstacles come my way. If you think idols are nothing but cute girls who cannot dance or sing, you are very wrong. They are all round performers and I am more than happy to be a fan since the very beginning.

I wish all the best to Matsui Rena on her journey to become one of the best actresses. I do think she is one of the best if not the best – though I gotta give it to Yuuko-sama – actresses and I will continue supporting her no matter what. After all, she is my KamiOshi 🙂

Unspoken Feelings. Part 4

YuiYuuA/n. Yup yup, finalLY (oh god, why am I leaving this pun here while most of you have no idea of its meaning. Oh well, bear with me ^^; ) I am updating this!!! I know I left you all with double cliffhanger last time and on this update…. Expect the unexpected LOL

  • yakitori are grilled chicken skewers made from bite sized pieces of meat from all different parts of the chicken, such as the breasts, thighs, skin, liver and other innards
  • ‘daijoubu’ means ‘all is well; it’s okay; it’s fine; I am fine; etc.’

So, Yuusei said he wants something dedicated to him, and thus – even though he doesn’t like reading much XD – I dedicate this update to him ^w^

Mariya checked if she had all what was needed in her bag and then proceeded on her way outside. She was hoping the person that was supposed to wait for her was not waiting there for too long. Knowing the person, however, Suzuki Mariya smiled and even chuckled. The person probably was either late or would simply forgive Mariya for making her wait and brush it off as if nothing happened. Those who knew Miyazawa Sae as well as she did would definitely agree with her.

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Unspoken Feelings. Part 3

YuiYuuA/n. AAAAAAAAAND here is another part (not the last part, so it’s gonna be more than three parts…) Enjoy~

  • just letting you know that the word ‘kikotsu’ originally means ‘backbone’, but it also can mean ‘spirit; soul’, and thus these latter ones is the meaning I am using here
  • if any of you, who are reading this, are not familiar with the term and team KGSK, lemme explain
  • ‘KGSK’, or ‘kusogaki’, means ‘annoying kids’ and is referred when talking about Oshima Ryouka, Kawaei Rina, Kodama Haruka, Takahashi Juri and Tano Yuuka; it is a running joke in Team A and even has become part of their image in the AKB48 group itsef
  • ‘dadakko’ means ‘brat; spoiled kid’

Ayarin shifted her gaze uneasily towards another object in the hotel room. She couldn’t believe her luck, or maybe demise, of sharing the same room with Juri. It was already hard seeing her in the theater nearly every day. And now here they were, in the hotel room. She felt really uncomfortable, mainly because Juri was just in cozy hoodie and panties, rolling on bed while memorizing the lyrics to one of the stage songs. Kikuchi just had to look away or she would pounce onto the poor unsuspecting girl.

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Unspoken Feelings. Part 2

YuiYuuA/n. So, part two is here, some things are escalating, so I guess enjoy? 😀

Kawaei slipped into a pair of jeans and a white sweater. After looking into the mirror and seeing she looks the way she wanted the girl left the dressing room, slinging a backpack over her shoulder. Her eyes scanned the theater and seeing the person she was looking for, Rina chuckled and skipped over to one of the benches.

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Unspoken Feelings. Part 1

  A/n. Heyo people~ Not gonna talk much. Just a few notes about this update.

  • it is gonna be a OS consisting of 2-3 parts
  • this is set back in the day, way before the Dai Sokaku Matsuri, when Mariko-sama graduated and appointed Yuihime as the new Captain
  • most of the ships in this OS are my crack ships that I enjoy shipping secretly


Sixteen sweating bodies, sixteen passionate hearts, sixteen people moving in the same rhythm. Mirrors on the wall covered in a thick layer of fog, air in the room heavy and lacking the so much needed oxygen. Continue reading

Office Life. After Hours (YuiYuu SMUT)

A/n. Sakuchan finalLY had the amazing opportunity to do a collaboration with BUNNY~ Otherwise known as Skyle in here~ this piece of work is something I am really proud to present~


HUGE THANK YOU TO YUUSEI-KUN for proofreading this whole smutty work~ *kisses cheek* 


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Checkmate. Chapter A

A/n. Well, I am sure some of you oredi read this piece but I kinda edited it because I felt like finishing it. But oc, before posting the final part I wanted to edit and fix all the things that were inconsistent and wrong in the old chapters.

Once again, thanks to nori for proofreading!



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New Pencil

A/n. Well, this is another crack shot I decided to write when it popped up in my head so yeah… I hope you guys enjoy reading, and it has some well-known pairings mentioned (with a certain – or a few certain – crack pairing(s) ). The story itself might be pure crack so sorry for any mistakes…. OTL (this is kinda dedicated to AshuraX, Zita, Skyle and nori. Though only kinda cuz…well… You’ll see yourselves >_<


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The Attraction of The Mirror. Chapter 1



A/n. Well, this chapter is more centered on other characters and we see first sighting s of MaYuki… I was thinking the first chapter to be quite different from what it is now…cuz this was supposed to be chapter 2 or even 3 but… Decided this would let the story flow more nicely, not revealing too much information until it is needed.

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